You wanted to kill yourself? Why?

Because i felt alone, i felt misjudged, i felt used, i felt hurt, i felt every bad emotion in one. When you lose everyone you care about you tend to forget to even care about yourself you look in the mirror and you try to change everything you can just so you can look diffrent and feel like a different person to cope with your pain. When you lose all your confidence, you lose yourself. You feel like ” everyone who loved me left over and over its gunna keep happening”. Thats what i thought. I tried to close my eyes and think i was going to be alright and no one could hurt me…. i was wrong very wrong. All of them did. A guy i thought loved me to death ripped my fucking heart to peices and he doesnt know this but i think about all of it every time we fight, it kills me. You went and touched her. You couldnt even respect my feelings. Who gives a fuck what you heard about me! You dont love me. You think you do. Same thing with my mother. Mom you love crack not me. You never loved me. You shouldnt have had kids. You think i shoudlve killed myself? Go kill yourself, how about that. I never fucked anyone but my boyfriend in the past 7 month sbut none of you could care you just want to entertain your little lives by ruining mine. You all got what you wanted. I changed. Im no longer the emily i used to be. I honestly cant even dance anymore and feel happiness. I used to be able to. That was my way to get away… Now i have nothing congratulations everyone. You temporarily got what you wanted. You through all the rocks you could possibly throw…..